As everyone knows, both
sexes are guilty of infidelity in marriage. The blame for a broken
relationship is not the fault of one gender or the other; however,
there are several aspects of infidelity that are more attributable
to women than men.The reasons women cheat vary
considerably. Some get involved in extramarital affairs because
they are lonely, others because they want to escape the monotony of
marriage. Still others are motivated to cheat as a form of revenge
after they find lipstick or other tell-tale signs of their
husbands' infidelity. Then there are the selfish, character-flawed
women who marry good men, who love and take care of them, but
continue to consort with other men for sexual excitement or for the
money and other material goods these men can provide.
Cheating women are not nearly as
inclined to engage in infidelity purely for the sexual
gratification. They tend to select a partner that they feel is an
"upgrade" or somehow a better selection (i.e. the rock star or
alpha male syndrome). They tend to engage in an affair with someone
they want to be with and see over and over as opposed to simply
finding someone that arouses them and giving them physical
pleasure. The naturalistic view is that a cheating wife is simply
following her instincts and looking to be with the "better" animal.
She moves away from her husband to be with a man who is stronger,
better off, smarter, etc. It is instinctual and natural. Although
we do not buy into that idea whole heartedly, the truth is that a
wife can want something more and may try and find it with someone
else. This can range from finding someone she relates with better,
all the way to being a gold digger and finding a guy who can give
her more things than you. The "better man" theory, whether the
other guy is better or not, holds true. If this is the case, the
infidelity is likely to be a simple precursor to a new relationship
and it is only an affair because she does not have the other guy
locked in yet.
Another basic idea which everyone
has heard of is that women often marry for security as opposed to
love. The idea is that they need someone, so they get married, not
necessarily to the man of their dreams. Along with this idea is its
partner, the idea that women are always looking for the best mate
they can find. They will "upgrade" if an opportunity presents
itself. They are working on this "upgrade" while continuing to
maintain their existing marriage.
A lack of sex or sex that is not
satisfying is another major motivator the leads a wife to cheat. We
have found that this is particularly true when the cheating wife
tried to keep the sexual relationship with her spouse going strong
but was met with disappointment. She stays in good shape, tries to
be sexy and interesting for him and he is still bored with sex or
worse yet, will not give her pleasure the way she wants it. There
is no romance and no connection. A wife who has gone through this
is far more likely to cheat when someone shows a true interest in
her.
Paybacks are a bitch, and if you
cheated on her, she may well pay you back by doing the same.
Everyone has heard of cases of a wife cheating on her husband as
revenge for his infidelity or believed infidelity. Women have come
out of the cave and they have sexual power. It is far easier for a
woman to get a man to have sex with her then the opposite. Women
know this and many will cheat to get back or to level the playing
field.
Some sexual behavior research
indicates that the cheating wife may see herself as a victim of the
"Little Woman Syndrome". This is essentially a case where a working
wife is made to feel like the "little woman" in her marriage rather
than a partner. She works just as hard as her husband, but at the
end of the day, she still has to raise the kids, clean the house
and be the quiet wife so her husband can go out with the guys or
watch TV all night. Working women who contribute a lot in the
workforce and want to be treated with the respect they deserve come
home to a life that they do not want. They are surrounded with
people who treat them with respect at the office and they want the
same from a marriage that will not give it to them. This is a wife
who may cheat because she wants to be with someone who will treat
her like an equal.
Something that is not gender
specific but is worth mentioning is that in almost all cases of a
cheating wife is the overall idea that something is wrong in the
marriage. At least one of them is unhappy and most likely both are.
Someone's needs are not being met and something does not work the
way that either partner wants it to.
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